It has not been a great morning. I managed to make both my daughter and my husband shout and scream before 8.30am. I seemed to get plenty of sleep but I’m still doggedly tired. I left later than I planned to. I forgot Phoebe’s nursery bag so had to drive home to get it. I had to leave her screaming at nursery because she’s scared of going in. I rushed in for a meeting only to find out it’s been cancelled. All in all, not a great start to the day.
I feel utterly wretched, tired, hormonal, angry and guilty. However, the difference between how I feel now and how I would have felt a few years ago is that I know it won’t last. In 2014 I took part in an online course called Happy School (now called Thrive), which taught about the Three Principles psychological theory. I feel like the terminology around it is a bit confusing and complicated at the moment, however the basis of it is being aware that all of our feelings are created by the thoughts we have, and our thoughts can change in a moment. So, I feel guilty because I left my daughter crying at nursery and my thoughts say I’m a terrible Mum, I should find ways of making her settle quicker, I should put her in for more days so she gets used to it, maybe I should take her out of nursery altogether. My thoughts are basically saying that I’m doing it all wrong. However, at some point today hopefully my thoughts will change to realise that it’s very normal for kids to be scared when going to nursery, she will be going for more days in September, after a few minutes crying I know she gets on fine there as the staff tell me and really I am mostly a good Mum. My feelings will then reflect these new thoughts i.e. I won’t feel so crap.
Sometimes, this change doesn’t happen all day, or even for a few days. Sometimes it happens almost immediately. Sometimes writing or talking about it helps, sometimes not. Sometimes distracting myself with work or walks or yummy food takes my mind off it and I suddenly realise it’s not a problem anymore. But knowing that thoughts are so fleeting and temporary, that they can change in an instant and give you a completely new perspective on a situation or a day or your life makes bad mornings that bit easier to handle.
This video by a guy called Prince EA sums is up quite well: